Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Party Wallop

Prelude: Now I did attempt to redo the lyrics of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song with Transformers names, but got bored after “Wheeljack does machines”. Instead, my mind has been busy trying to figure out what, exactly, a “Party Wallop” is. An event where lots of people get beat up, like a kids-rated Fight Club? A heroic group setting out to wallop somebody? Or should I simply be satisfied that it’s the name of the first-ever Transformers Turtles crossover toy, even if it makes little sense? Well, dudes, let’s say Turtle Power!

Robot Mode: The Party Wallop robot (which I will probably just call “the Turtle” from here on out because Party Wallop is a weird name) is supposed to look like a Ninja Turtle if it were a big robot and it does that job pretty nicely. While the general shape is clearly that of the beloved mutated reptiles (turtles ARE reptiles, not amphibians, just in case you were wondering), there are more than enough sharp angles and edges to give the figure a robotic look. Add a coloring and chunkiness that just screams 80s cartoon robot and we’re most of the way there. Clearly this is a Turtle robot.

Which Turtle, though? Well, take your pick. The Turtle comes with a mask-less face, so at that point he could be anybody. You can take off the upper half of the head, though, and can then choose from four different head-halves (there is a joke about heroes in a half shell in there somewhere, I know it) sporting the four different colored masks we are all familiar with. In addition, the blank belt buckle can be rotated to show the letter corresponding to the mask, so whether your favorite Turtle is Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo or Raphael, this figure can accommodate you. Of course this means that if you want all four Turtles side by side, well, let’s hope you have extra money stashed away.

No matter which Turtle you decide to turn him into, though, the Turtle robot is articulated well enough to pull off some ninja moves. Or what passes for ninja moves in an 80s cartoon, I guess (no “poisoning your food” or “stab you while you sleep” action here). The Turtle adheres to the current standard articulation, meaning he has ankle tilt, a twisting hip and wrists, a ball-jointed head, the whole nine yards. He does carry some hip kibble, two wheel of his vehicle mode, but those can fold out of the way. He also has quite the backpack, but hey, he’s a Turtle, what did you expect?

In terms of weapons, the Turtle has two guns on his back, but those are for the vehicle mode and can only point up (or backwards) in this mode, not flip down over the shoulders, sadly. But never fear, all the weapons you know from your favorite mutants (take that, X-Men!) are here and stored away on the body. Leonardo’s swords clip to the side of the backpack, Michelangelo’s nunchucks are stored in the shoulder flaps, Raphael’s daggers are clipped to the hip kibble, and finally Donatello’s Bo staff is folded inside the backpack. That’s also where you can store the four face-halves not currently in use, so all parts are accounted for and none left over. Very nice.

One final part is the front of the van, which the Turtle can either wear as additional chest armor (making him look very, very boxy) or clip to either arm as a shield (much better). The shell-shaped disc on the shield can be removed, serving as either a turtle com or a pizza (can’t leave out the pizza). So bottom line for the robot mode: very nicely done. It looks like a Turtle, it has all the trappings of a turtle, and it also works as an 80s style cartoon robot, too. So thumbs up!

Alternate Mode: Now there were a few rather recognizable vehicles in the various Ninja Turtles cartoons - I’m still waiting for a transforming Technodrome - but for the very first transforming Turtles figure, it does make sense to use the modified van that the Turtles drive in most of their various cartoons and movies. This one here is specifically the one from the 80s cartoon, of course, called “Party Wagon” in the toy line.

The transformation is pretty basic and not complicated. It involves lining up a few panels correctly, but that’s the most difficult thing about it. The final result is a pretty close match to the vehicle from the 80s cartoon and toyline, including the “teeth” on the front bumper, the spoiler on the back, the cannons on the roof, everything. It is somewhat smaller of course, and does not offer room for an actual Turtles figure to sit inside, but that was a given. I do hope Toyhax gives us a “Foot Stinks!” sticker to put on the side, though.  

All weapons and extra parts are stored away in this mode, too, so there is nothing left over. The swords and daggers are now on the bottom of the van, everything else is in the same place as in robot mode. Nicely done. Much like the robot mode, of course, this mode also lives off the nostalgia you may or may not have for the 80s era Turtles. Without that, it’s really just a very simple vehicle mode. No visible robot bits, which is a plus, but really just a box on wheels.

Remarks: Originally created as a spoof of some of the most popular comics of the early 80s, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles became a pop culture phenomenon of their own, starring in several vastly popular cartoons and movies. They are probably the only reason many people can list at least four famous Renaissance painters and also caused a massive upsurge in pizza sales. So with Hasbro currently being on a Collaborative bender, it was only a matter of time before we got a transforming turtle.

Side note: can anyone explain to me the origin of the name “Party Wallop”? I know, of course, that the original Turtles van in the 1980s toyline was called “Turtles Party Wagon” and I know what “to wallop” means, but still… Party Wallop? Who came up with that? And why? Why did anyone think that was a good idea?

Let’s be honest, most of the toys coming out in Hasbro’s Collaborative lines are living off the novelty value of seeing these familiar, beloved vehicles transform into robots. As I mentioned before, I’d be all in for a transforming Technodrome, too. So if you are a Turtles fan or simply enjoy the spectacle of having these two iconic toy lines cross over, the Party Wallop is definitely for you. If you don’t care about the crossover, though, then all you have here is a good Transformers figure that transforms into a van. Which is nice, but you can get plenty of those for a better price.

Rating: B