Prime Breakdown

TFU: Mr. Breakdown? Mr. Breakdown, sir! Do you have time for a few questions?

Breakdown (grumbling): Do I look like I have anything better to do?

TFU: Mr. Breakdown, what do you say to the fact that Hasbro decided not to release your Takara-Tomy Voyager-class figure in their markets and instead have this Cyberverse Legion-class figure as your only representation in the toyline?

Breakdown: It’s a fraggin‘ disgrace, is what it is. I mean, I’m like the biggest Decepticon there is, right? So I was supposed to get a really big figure, too. But no, I only get to be in the damn Cyberverse line for the little fleshies. And do I at least get a Commander figure so I’m at eye level with Bulkhead?

TFU: Uh, no.

Breakdown: Damn right, no! I get to be a fraggin‘ Legion-Class figure and Bulkhead, the guy whose clock I’m cleaning every other week, is now twice as tall as me. Where is the justice in that, eh?

TFU: Well, scale was never really much of a thing for Transformers toys, you know.

Breakdown: I know, but still. I mean, look at this little thing! Sure, it does look a lot like me, granted. And the car mode is cool and all. Weapon looks nice. But no knees, no elbows, and it’s so friggin‘ little... what did I do to deserve this, man?

TFU: Uh, you got yourself killed by a girl...

Breakdown: Careful, man...

TFU: ... in an off-panel scene, to boot, ...

Breakdown: You’re on really thin ice, buddy!

TFU: … and all so your body could be hijacked by a human bad guy who then flushed a season’s worth of plot development down the toilet in a single episode.

Breakdown: I’d kill you if I weren’t so tiny a toy.

TFU: Come on, cheer up. At least in the Beast Hunters line you get to wear that Apex Armor thing. Isn’t that something? Wearing it you’re almost as big as First Edition Bulkhead.

Breakdown: Okay, there is that. But why green? At least this figure here got the proper paintjob.

TFU: Uh, I don’t know. Maybe green toys sell better? I mean, all those Bulkhead toys...

Breakdown: Okay, that’s it! You’re dead, fleshy!

Rating: C+